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June 5th, 2014 at 08:09 am

I'm going to talk about my friend. I know some of us write these type of posts from time to time. I do feel a little guilty writing about this. I also don't want it to come across that I'm all high and mighty and know everything. I don't. I do know a lot and I have different habits than my friend.

My friend is moving from one state to another. Texas specifically. This move is happening pretty fast for them. It is with the friend's husband's same company. It is a pretty big promotion for him. They listed their home and sold it in 7 days. They are still going through the process of inspections and so forth.

I think they are happy with the sale, and the price but I don't think they will get much proceeds from the sale. They bought it over 12 years ago for $109K with zero down. It was a VA loan. The sold it for $127K. You would think there were be lots of equity there, but she has told me they refinanced at least two times to refinance debt. And I know the first time she told me about refinancing I was vocal about being against that. She had many justifications.

They have been to their new city recently looking at houses. The market there is hopping and homes don't stay listed for long and sell for at or slightly above list price. Their realtor says sellers are not accepting contingent offers (offers based on complete sale of their own home), this upsets my friend. But she is really upset that she has to put 1% down in earnest money when making an offer. For the homes they are looking at this may amount to $1700. I don't know for sure if she has it or not, but she seems to be acting like she doesn't.

Ugh. I feel bad, but I'm more frustrated at her behavior over the years and how it has lead only to buying more stuff and she never seems to get ahead. One time she said if she saved money, she would just be tempted spend it all. Umm...so you don't save, but then you still spend it all.

She told me that her brother was a little concerned about this move, telling her that more money isn't everything. He even said, 'You know, the more you make the more you spend." I'm sure he meant that in the literal sense. She really does that. However she has the illusion they will be able to pay off lots of bills and get ahead. That is the main reason they are moving it is a promotion and a significant increase in salary. It is enough that she may not work. Although I think she will find a way to get a job somewhere, since she has never not worked. The truth is more money doesn't solve excess spending behaviors.

I'm starting to relate to her brother's opinion, that this may not be a great move financially. She doesn't have $1700 or any down payment, how can you expect to get a home in that case. They are still eligible for another VA loan so that helps with the down payment part. I did hear her mention apartment, so we will see if that ends up being the better choice.

Alright it is the end of my rant. I'm just frustrated after years of talking with her that she isn't in a better place.

5 Responses to “Frustrated”

  1. My English Castle Says:

    It's hard for me to bite my tongue in cases like this. And some people just need to figure it out themselves.

  2. ceejay74 Says:

    Totally understand why you needed to rant! I think we've all got friends like that. I don't rant about my friends because my blog isn't completely private (I gave some people I know the URL), but a lot of times I want to!

  3. CB in the City Says:

    It is so true -- more money does NOT solve a spending problem. It only accelerates it!

  4. rob62521 Says:

    You can lead a horse... Seriously, some folks just don't get it.

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