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Choose Kindness and Love

November 9th, 2016 at 08:01 am

Our daughters woke up very upset this morning. One has a friend that is very fearful to walk around on campus. I personally am not fearful, yet I am so sad that others are.

Hug someone if you are feeling sad or scared. Talk through your feelings. Remember that we are more alike that we are different. There is more good in the world than we can possibly be shown on television.

Be the good!

12 Responses to “Choose Kindness and Love”

  1. LivingAlmostLarge Says:

    I agree chose compassion, kindness, and tolerance. I am praying for my friends who are scared.

  2. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:

    About 10:20pm (Central) a 13 year old neighbor called me. She's Muslim. She normally has no interest in current events, but prefers to spend her spare time on social media, make-up and fashion, writing, video gaming, karate and gymnastics. She hopes for a hover-board for her birthday. Her favorite brand is PINK and she likes to prank her family (and me!). She puts earbuds in to listen to music while she does her math. She taught me about dance "dabbing". She is excited about an undersea scene she painted in acrylic. She still loves teddy bears and hopes to become a veterinarian or a make-up artist. An ordinary kid.

    But last night she phoned to ask, "Ms. Joan, is it true Trump is winning? What's going to happen?" Her sister who has been trying to get her head around the electoral college (studying it in school) was watching the news on TV. I have never known either of these girls to watch TV at all, much less the news! About a year ago, kids at school started calling the older girl "ISIS" and saying cruel things to her. More things have been said in connection with the election in the last couple weeks.

    So, at the last minute, the two girls began to take a nervous interest in the presidential election. The younger asked me several times this week, "Why can't Obama be president again?" Last night, feeling personally afraid, she asked, "How old is Trump? Do you think he could just die soon?" In answer to her question of what's going to happen, I told her that no matter who wins, we are going to just keep living our lives the best we can, being the best people we can be. I told her that her sister is learning about how it is not the president who makes laws, but the Senate and House of Representatives, so that a lot of what she has heard "will happen" cannot happen just by a president saying so. She told me she did not think she could sleep and that her mother was telling her to go to bed. At some point my throat tightened up, and tears were running down my face as I said again that we will just keep living our lives the best we can no matter who is president. I tried not to let my voice waiver so that I would not pass along my own emotions. I was glad I was on the phone.

    I'll see her after school today I hope that whatever words will re-assure her will somehow come to me. I hope at school today the teachers are okay.

  3. creditcardfree Says:

    Thank you for sharing Joan. I was caught off guard with how worried my own children would be! I was crying the car in the drop off lane with my daughter this morning. She was going to a Shakespeare play today, so I'm hoping that was a good distraction. I'm hoping the right words come to me as well.

  4. ceejay74 Says:

    My daycare lady was kind of smiling and shaking her head when I came in today, and I held out my arms for a hug, half kidding. She threw herself onto me and sobbed on my shoulder. She and her husband are black, two of the daycare kids are Latino (from Mexico, not sure if permanent residents or citizens), one of my daughters is biracial, and she was sobbing "How could people do that? I just wasn't raised that way!"

    Later she posted videos on the private daycare facebook group of a little dance party for the preschoolers, who don't really get what's going on.

    My older daughter goes to a school that's over 50% minority, mainly Somali Muslims and Hispanics. Some of her friends wear hijabs. I told her we will be all right but need to make sure we give our non-white friends and family extra love and protection in this new climate.

  5. creditcardfree Says:

    Thanks for sharing ceejay! I can't imagine how scared some Americans are, so yes, extra love and protection while we transition is so important. I sure hope your daughter can be comforted. We are in a much more diverse town, but my daughter has embraced it with open arms, as we taught her. She has witnessed students being quite pompous about Donald Trump and what they think he stands for, which has been upsetting to her. She was worried how those kids would behave today.

  6. Jenn Says:

    It's sad that these kids (and presumably the parents) have embraced a victim mentality prompted by media hysteria.

    You're all smart financially-savvy women! Teach your daughters that they are empowered to build their lives regardless of what leader or party is in power. Because they are. I don't have daughters but my sons know (and said) that our family would be fine no matter who won the election.

    The very idea that a teenager cried because she thought the results of a US election made her immediately unsafe at school is crazy. Shame on the adults that led her to believe such a thing.

    Check out this blogger's entry called "Why the Presidential Election Doesn't Matter" - he states this better than I can. http://www.thinksaveretire.com/2016/10/24/2016-presidential-election-not-matter/

  7. creditcardfree Says:

    Jenn, I'm not quite sure how to respond, because I feel you are attacking me. The article is very good and I completely agree. We definitely don't teach or model that our daughter's are victims. We even talk about how it is more important to be involved in our local community and governments to make change in our world. They are both self starters and very smart. They understand the checks and balances set up in our government. But they are sensitive young adults with high ideals. I think my daughters find it very disappointing he would be representing the US, with all of his personality flaws. And one can cry if they feel disappointed. There is nothing wrong with having feelings about something, even to the point of crying. As their mother, I definitely reassured them and even explained how the media hypes things up. We've been saying this all along, too, so it took me by surprise.

    I don't know more than I already stated about my daughter's friend and her fear. But she is feeling fear, and I find that sad.

  8. CB in the City Says:

    I have to disagree, Jenn. I cried myself, and I have 67 years of life experience. There are very, very, very good reasons to be afraid of this man, and he has shown them to us in stunning detail. Every day. No media hysteria needed. (In fact, I think the media has been pretty restrained, considering the garbage that came out of his mouth.) Now he will be all about unity? I don't think so. We've seen his dirty panties. He will never be my President, and I am deeply ashamed of my country.

  9. laura Says:

    And my thoughts are that it has to be very disheartening to have someone in charge who has made disparaging remarks about plenty of segments of the population, and then comes to power. I live in Chicago and know families who fear being torn apart because of illegal immigration status. Right, wrong or otherwise, these are families and they now face something pretty horrific based on the POTUS-elect banter. We can say and do whatever to model sanity, but sometimes the idea of things happening is stressful enough. I will remain hopeful,

    I would say comfort and cry with our children. My children needed to listen to me lament about the lack of kindness in the world.

  10. alice4now Says:

    I'm so sad that we have to shelter our own children and neighbors from words of our own President. Frown

  11. MonkeyMama Says:

    Ccfree, well said.

  12. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:

    Jenn, the girls I wrote about have not been manipulated by media hysteria to feel like victims. As I said, they don't normally even watch TV at all. They know what they've experienced and heard at school. They don't have parents teaching them to be victims. The girls mother is frickin' blind from being shelled by Saddam Hussein as she escaped from Iraq with her family, yet the daughters don't even know that is the cause of her blindness. They've been sheltered from that harsh knowledge to grow up without such fear. Their parents do not go telling them that are probable victims and that someone might want to harm them or chase them out of their country, even though that is exactly what happened to the parents. I think they are darned strong parents to be raising their girls with the lightness of heart and focus on studies & future. It was not the girls who cried; it was me.

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