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The Daughter Wants

March 6th, 2014 at 11:58 am

My daughter sent be an info graphic chart of all the things she wants and why this morning while she was in her free period. Her wants include a violin, violin lessons, a wood piccolo, Adobe Creative Suite 6 software and a Digital Drawing Tablet. Yikes!

She knows these are all expensive things. I did see a professional wood piccolo on craigslist for $1,100. The software is about $800 new, might be able to buy for $6-700 used. Not sure on the violin likely used as well, lessons could run another $800+ per year...and I have no idea on the tablet. She hasn't even used one before. She is trying it today though. She does play flute, owns two, plus a hybrid piccolo we bought used. The violin is something both she and her sister seem to be interested in. And the drawing stuff is definitely stuff she can use to make more art and likely more money.

She asked for help from us to pay for these things in her email to me with the chart. She emails me from school pretty often, so this is just her communicating as she normally would. The graphic chart was a new thing she has recently learned. Anyway, my response was, it sounds like you need a job!

She did agree. I just don't know how quickly she will be wanting to take that path. Right now we are hoping she gets accepted again to participate in local art fair this year where she can sell some more art. I actually hope the wants spur her desire to find ways to sell more of her things. All these expensive wants might motivate her, so I'm not going to be too quick to solve her problems or jump into help.

I'm sure we will help in some way, but that it far from determined at this point. There will need to be some discussion between my husband and I. And then between all three of us.

Do you have kids with expensive wants? Is it wrong to want to help your kids gain good experience before they are out in the world. Is it wrong to give a hand up so to speak? Is there a limit to how much we should help? I'm just thinking outloud...not really sure how I feel either way.

6 Responses to “The Daughter Wants”

  1. scottish girl Says:

    Well SG is too young just now for me to answer this - thankfully, cos there are hundreds of adverts on kids tv channels!
    But, I remember being in high school and getting my first job a few months after I turned 16. I also remember that just before I turned 18 my mum was advised by her doctor to give up work, so I paid for the majority of my party. Actually, around about the same time, I worked 40+ hours each week during xmas break to help us at home because money was so tight. I've went off track here, but no, I don't think it's wrong.

  2. ceejay74 Says:

    I don't have any good answers, but I suspect a combination of helping your kids, and helping them to help themselves, would be the best. The trick is finding the right balance!

    Having your parents just out-and-out help you once in a while creates a very warm and loved feeling, but getting skills and perspective about hard work and frugality is also very important!

    I watch topics like this with great interest since I've got two growing girls. The oldest just turned 4 and is about to get her first allowance on Friday! I intend to make her divide it into spending, saving and giving.

  3. Carol Says:

    My daughter took a year off between high school and college. She went from the US to both Australia and England doing service work in both countries. She paid for her air fare from her own jobs. Her board was paid by the programs she went to. Right as I was about to reimburse her for the air fare, I heard a talk on kids and money and about how she would have a life long feeling of satisfaction and self worth from paying her own way. So she did. Something to think about. (and she did go to college and finish!)

  4. Miz Pat Says:

    I am not a mom, so I don't know about whether its good to have them pay your way or not. However, for musical instruments, I do suggest that she checks out places like pawn shops, etc. for the instruments, and checks penney saver and such.

    She could also check with her music teachers and ask if they know of anyone changing instruments or losing interest in music.

  5. Tabs Says:

    Haha, I like how all the young kids these days are into infographics.

  6. creditcardfree Says:

    @Tabs, my daughter is learning it in her desktop publishing class. Right now she is working on one to detail her high school career that she can put in her Senior portfolio. The school district requires a Senior presentation to graduate. This info graphic will be included.

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